The Way of Love for the Lord
Chapter 12. “There is a big Cross on your forehead.” (August 9, 1981)
There was a three-day retreat in Gwangju led by the charismatic renewal movement and Mr. Seung-Baik Ha was invited as a special lecturer.
As they were supposed to provide all the attendees with three meals during the retreat, it was necessary to know approximately how many would attend so that they could prepare the meals. Everyone felt heavy because they could not guess how many would turn up.
“Julia, how many do you think would come?” asked Paul Lee. “Maybe about 150 people would come,” I replied unconsciously. Some volunteer helpers chimed in, “That’s absurd. Less people would come.” Someone guessed that around 100 people would come, and Mr. Aloysius who was elected as the next president, guessed that less than 130 would come.
In the end, the exact attendees were 151. One man went home at night. So, it turned out that exactly 150 people attended the retreat.
The whole day, I remained beside Mr. Seung-Baik Ha and attended to his wants. While he was taking a break, I massaged his painful shoulders. He said, “Your hands are special as you’ve been given the gift of healing. The pain in my shoulders is gone.”
I had never told anybody that I was given the gift of healing. I just did it out of love. So surprised, I said to him, “I am just an unworthy sinner. If you are feeling better due to my massage, I think it is because the Lord did it for you, not me. I think the Lord massaged you just by borrowing my hands for a while as He thought it was necessary.”
Then, he clasped my hands tightly and said, “Yes! If you continue to work with that heart, the Lord will surely be pleased. Julia, please preserve that beautiful heart well and continue working like this, will you?”
“Sir, it is the Lord who gives me this beautiful heart if there is any. If there is anything that displeases others’ hearts, please think that it happened because of my mistake. If you think that I am good, I think that it is because you have a good heart and thus could look on me with favour despite my faults. Regardless of what the people of the world may say about me, I will try my best to live beautifully according to your words so that I can please the Lord. Since I am a mere unworthy sinner, please remember me in your prayers.”
Holding my hands tightly, he said with a bright smile, “Yes, let us keep each other in prayers.”
As the retreat went deeper into the night, it suddenly occurred to me that the president had asked me how many would come to the retreat. I began to meditate on it. Then, I heard the voice of Jesus.
“My lovely baby! Have you already forgotten that I am living in you? It was My reply that I made through your mouth.”
Julia Kim with her four children.